how to stop cache stampedes, you know, when like a bunch of requests hit the cache at the same time and the database

hey all, we've been having some problems with cache stampedes, you know, when lots of requests for the same expired cache key hit the database all at once during busy times. we've tried locking and stuff, and also expiration that's a bit random, but i'm wondering what else works for you all in the real world. what do you do to stop cache stampedes. any libraries or tools you think are good